Employee Retention through Warm-Fuzzies

By most polls, the number one reason why people leave a job is not due to being underpaid or overworked – it is more due to them being under appreciated. Crazy, you may think? I think it’s quite a sane reason. Imagine sitting in a little cubicle day in and day out, doing your job diligently, getting results, and 2 weeks goes by without one word of encouragement; yet, you sit in on a weekly meeting every Monday morning to go over what’s not getting done and where everyone is falling short.

Oops, did I just describe your job? Sorry!

From personal observations, I have noticed that not every method of showing appreciation works the same on all people. Imagine that! We are all different, and we all like to be shown that we are appreciated in different ways. Some people it’s a kind word; others, it’s a high five or a pat on the back. Then there are those of us money-grubbers who just want a little extra cash to show we are valued.

I read a book recently called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Granted, this book was originally written for husbands and wives, but I think its basic principles apply in the workplace (and pretty much anywhere, for that matter!). He talks about how people show love (or appreciation) to others around them in the manner in which they themselves would like to be shown. For example: my primary love language is Words of Affirmation. I like to be told that I am loved and appreciated, and I like to be told often. So one of the things I do is tell the people in my life that they are important to me. Someone else might have the primary love language of Acts of Service, and they might show people that they care by doing an act of service such as fixing a broken chair or cleaning up.

What I’m getting at with this post is that in the workplace, these same principles apply. If you own the business, get to know your employees and what motivates them. If you are an employee, learn what moves your coworkers. It will help improve the morale. Here I outline the five love languages from Gary Chapman’s book and provide a couple of work-appropriate suggestions for how to show appreciation.

Words of Affirmation
The person whose language is Words of Affirmation is someone who likes to be complimented and told that they are valuable. If you see they are doing a good job, tell them. Give them compliments and thank them often for their help and contribution. Words don’t cost you anything so give kind ones away freely! **since I personally am a Words of Affirmation person, I believe this is one of the most underused ways of showing appreciation. Why is it so hard for people to give a compliment, yet so easy for them to point out faults? Hmm…perhaps another topic someday.

Receiving Gifts
This person likes to receive thoughtful presents to know they are appreciated. This would be the person who you could give a thank-you card to or some other small trinket that lets them know they are appreciated. I hesitate to throw ‘give them some extra money’ in here because I think that would show just about all of us some appreciation, but that is also a way to show the Gifts person that they are valued.

Acts of Service
The Acts of Service person is one who wants to be appreciated by having someone assist them with a task. In the original book on marriage, an appropriate gesture given for this would be helping out with housework, or fixing the car. Obviously not things that could be done in the work environment. An appropriate method of showing appreciation in the workplace to this person would be assisting them with some paperwork or a part of their job (coupled with some words of encouragement; otherwise they might think you believe they are not doing a good job!), or perhaps offering to pick up lunch for them one afternoon or drop something off at the post office if they don’t have time to go themselves.

Quality Time
A person whose language is Quality Time is someone who just wants to be paid attention to. The easiest way to show your appreciation to this person is to listen to them. And I don’t mean stand there and look around while they talk, I mean engage in the conversation and pay attention. Ways to show this person they are valued: take them to lunch and let them talk, or ask them for any suggestions they might have on how the company can be improved and then use some of the suggestions. This person simply wants to be heard. (this is my secondary love language, by the way!)

Physical Touch
This love language is a little tougher to do ‘appropriately’ in the workplace. This might be your huggy cube neighbor or the guy who likes to shake your hand when you greet him every day. Best way to show appreciation to this person is to literally give them a pat on the back while verbally expressing your gratitude, or give them a firm handshake or a high five (yes, the high-five is back!) I strongly recommend against big frontal assault bear hugs, especially with women. You could have a potential problem on your hands with that!

OK – you may be asking, how do I figure out who is what language? Observation, my dear friends. Take a look at the things others around you do to be kind to each other. The things they do for others are typically the methods in which they desire to be appreciated themselves. I also recommend reading Gary Chapman’s books. He has several others that are geared specifically towards certain demographics (singles, men, women, etc.). And no, I am not getting paid to promote this book. I just think it warrants a discussion since it’s a top reason why people leave their jobs, and it’s such a simple challenge to overcome. I encourage each person who reads this to try a couple of these methods. Let me know what your results are; I’m sure you’ll see a big difference!